Wiping off my bottom

It’s rare now for me to start the weekend rolling around on the bed, squealing and gasping in complete ecstatic abandon, but today [swipes back of hand across wet mouth] started out just like that.

Since the first series of The Great Pottery Throwdown reenergised and supercharged my lifelong love of ceramics last year, I have also been tending another fire outside the kiln…

Three words: Keith Brymer Jones

A new addition to my elite roster of secret man-crushes.  Some people say I have a type…

[For the uninitiated: James, Robert, Keith, Jo (Husband)… ]

I love a man of contrast and contradiction.  Hard looking with piercing eyes, tough yet tender, creative and a little crazed around the edges… sort of council-estate-got-culture.

I don’t do philistine.  I like a gentle god, a thinker and maker, semi-hidden tenderness, emotions that overspill and definitely, definitely, a difficult creative type.

Most of all, I love a man built like a proper man – weathered, preferably hirsute (but stopping pre-gorilla), and with a big Dad bod.

None of those hipster beards on baby faces for me.  Skinny jeans on chicken legs and pre-pubescent coat hanger shoulders?  Yuck.  Shudder.

I want grunt and I want gut.  Fat neck, furrowed brow = ravish me now.

Turning a slight blind-eye to the hairdo, as well as being on type, Keith ticks even more boxes for me.  Lives in Whitstable, one of my favourite places; makes and loves ceramics, one of my favourite pastimes and passions… dreamy.

Don’t go channelling those sloppy bullshit scenes from Ghost though, that’s not the vibe; watch him slap a fresh lump of clay into shape and imagine it’s your arse.  Now you get me?

So my head, heart and loins exploded when, whilst languishing on Twitter, I came across a link to Keith Brymer Jones’ YouTube channel.

Three more words: spoof music videos.  Insanely amazing.  I proper squawked with joy.

My fervour possibly means that I am a little biased but I think they should have more views.  Watch them, starting here:

6 thoughts on “Wiping off my bottom

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