After (apparently) over 10,000 nominations I’m one of the three finalists for ‘Creative Fundraiser of the Year’ at the JustGiving Awards 2015. Gulp. [Tries to jump and click heels mid-air, but fails to leave the floor and only manages to bang those sticky-out ankle bone bits together, winces and shuffles away in shame.]
In all honesty, the whole thing is quite overwhelming and embarrassing – I am what I believe is known as a back office type – I’m project manager, admin supporter, chief sorter outer… not front of house at all. It is going to be the sweaty top lip moment of the decade.
After the initial shock, I’m almost excited. More dread filled but almost excited. It would, however, be further awareness for autism and the National Autistic Society, and my family and friends really want me to go for it, and I suppose it is very sour grapes and quite rude to refuse to play once one is nominated, and let’s be honest I just don’t really get out enough.
*pauses for breath*
I could really use an excuse to brush my hair and get some lippy on. So if you could vote for me that would be great.
There’s no denying that this year has been incredibly tough at times for me.
Starting with the daughter’s sensory/emotional breakdown last December that lead to me writing I Stand Quietly, through the several months of her not leaving the house, the whole I Stand Quietly furore and the emotional rollercoaster of the wonderful but also awful eyes-can’t-unsee emails and comments it generated, to a horrible boob abscess episode that resulted in surgery about 3 weeks ago and me unable to wear a bra for the pain for the last 3 months and counting (although I suppose I wasn’t going out anywhere much anyways…)
It would also really help me with a particular niggle that has come up whilst nurturing my midlife crisis.
I really thought that by now I would be a successful Mumpreneur, kitchen-table-millionaire type with a book deal, or maybe magnate of an international property portfolio including luxury boutique hotel/leisure destinations with associated branded lifestyle product lines, or possibly even writer of a BBC2 sit com series, or actually, to be honest, all of the above.
That, quite obviously, has not happened. I am philosophical, it was unlikely to happen. I’m not actually annoyed about that.
What I am really livid and obsessively annoyed about is how nearly ALL of my peers on Facebook are running.
Unlike them, the urge and energy to take up middle-aged running has not come over me at all. Whatsoever. Not even a tiny bit. I am a total failure.
I do not need a bank account at Coutts to feel successful, nor celeb phone numbers in my mobile, nor even a minimum wage income any more; I need a medal for a 10k run and maybe a certificate for a triathlon too and I am not going to get one. I am tired and hungry and tempted by tea and biscuits and as much as I secretly wish for it to be my thyroid or something, I know it’s not. I am just apathetic. This award will maybe make me feel a teensy weensy bit better.
Obesity and overly sedentary lifestyles are the talk of the day but there’s just no poster girl for that shit yet. This is a once-in-a-generation unique opportunity for a fat, sedentary type to win a major fund-raising award. These are normally reserved for the athletic elite, most often given to gristly sinewy psycho-fit types who have cycled around the globe three times, swimming across the wet ocean bits with their bike on their back, and probably incidentally stopping a handful of civil wars on the way.
Frankly, if you think about it, a lot of their behaviour borders irresponsible. We don’t want to promote that…
They are getting all the book deals. I want a book deal.