I’m officially coming out as a blogger. I have made a Facebook page. I’m not sure you can technically call yourself a blogger when you don’t make any money from it, but hell, I’m going to anyway. It’s better than stupid old fatty.
…and because someone today told me I am vile in the comments of another post on here. In their context and from their viewpoint, I was tempted to agree. More importantly, I didn’t really mind. Boom. Professional blogger attitude developing right there.
…and because I’ve been nominated for a ‘Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award’. Aww!
To be honest, I don’t fully ‘get’ these bloggers-loving-other-bloggers awards. Makes me feel a bit awkward in that “will I really die if I don’t forward on this chain letter email?” way.
However I have been nominated by a sass-tastic and rather gorgeous lady called Elke who blogs as The Pretty Platform. I am chuffed, as this mother-of-mouth-almighty has also been Freshly Pressed, which means a lot to me.
Thank you Elke, I will play along… sort of.
So, copying directly from her post, I understand that I must:
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
2. Put the award logo on your blog.
3. Answer the ten questions sent to you.
4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Nominate seven blogs.
So there’s two main flaws in that as:
- I don’t tend to do what I’m told and I don’t like the logo very much so that’s not happening.
- I don’t really read other blogs. I am possibly going to implode in the irony of it all when I say that, to be very honest, I’m not that interested in what anyone else has got to say. What an arsehole, eh?
But I’ll worry about that later, I just LOVE answering lists of questions!
Here I go!
1) If there was a book written about you, what would it be titled?
Greasy Wrinkles. In fact, if I get time to write it (laugh, sigh) then my book will possibly be called that. I am so thrilled every single day to still be suffering with the greasy T-Zone and blemishes of my teenage years whilst also developing an increasing number and depth of wrinkle(s). I have a magnifying mirror that is used for both spot squeezing and beard plucking. That’s just not right. Greasy Wrinkles also does nice analogy things for me about being a body-of-woman mind-of-girl miscreant freak…
2) If you could go back to any age in your life, which would it be, and why?
I’m not sure. I am a look-forwarder. I certainly wouldn’t want to change anything. I am genuinely happy.
Although I would love to be thin, have a naturally healthier outlook, and although I sometimes wonder about where I’d be now if I’d made other choices etc…
I am happy. Here. Today. Now.
That said, when I was 20, I did have the most amazing mind-blowing Hollywood movie-esque one night stand with a chap whose beer goggles meant that I got to punch SO far above my weight, no one would’ve believed me, and whose breeding meant that the next morning he charmingly carried on the ‘you are the most incredible woman on the planet’ pretence, right up until I dropped him home…
Yes. I gave him a lift home. It was frankly the least I could do.
In another lifetime or universe or something, where I’d not yet met my wonderful hubby so I couldn’t hurt his feelings, I’d perhaps give that fellow another whirl.
3) What single accomplishment are you most proud of?
My marriage. I’m not just saying that to counteract the previous answer. I met my husband when I was a few days off 22 years old. We’ve been together for coming up 20 years. That’s pretty unusual around here.
We share a very puerile sense of humour and a love of brown sauce on toast.
He’s been off work today and we’ve spent some time together pottering in the garden for the first time in ages (with the TV as babysitter, top parenting) and I feel great. I think he does too.
He commented I looked younger tonight, and I felt it too. We’re a rare type that thrive on time together, we never need space or time apart, in fact that doesn’t work for us at all. We need loads of time together, can’t get enough.
Yeah, I know. Puke, puke, puke.
It is my accomplishment as I asked him out in the first place.
4) Country living or city living?
Neither. Seaside living. No place else compares. Except maybe Estuary living. I could do that too.
5) What’s your favorite joke? Do tell.
Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
6) Are you an ugly or pretty crier?
SUPERFUGLY. I have never cried in a mirror to confirm that. I have never needed to. I have always been able to see the horror on people’s faces even through the tears. I am a sniffing, snorting, coughing, grolly-hocking drooler of a crier. There’s way too much bodily fluid involved. I think it might even come out of my ears. It’s not nice.
Bonus titbit: I am absolutely phobic of being cried on. I cannot stand to feel someone else’s (apart from daughter’s) tears on me, especially if they have reached my skin through clothing. If I am ever up for murder, that will be why.
7) If you could donate money to one cause, to one organization, which would it be?
So far I believe my plastic surgery shopping list is up to about £25k. There’s not many plights I see as more serious than the state of my physique.
8) What do you think should be taught in schools today that isn’t already?
Nothing. I think it would be better if a lot of parents were reminded of what their responsibility is, rather than schools being under constant pressure and criticism for not extending their remit.
My daughter is now home educated as I didn’t feel her school could meet her needs. I do not mean that as a criticism, just a reality. So I’m decreasingly knowledgeable about schools.
Most of the experiences that I have with kids and young people that are ‘below par’ to put it nicely are to do with basic social skills, deference, understanding and respect: all things that should be learned at home.
9) How do you like your steak cooked?
In butter. French (proper) rare, as long as it’s really good quality and well aged.
10) What vacation spot did you enjoy the most?
Any that involved a beach. Hot sand, bare toes, treasure hunting, rock pooling, getting buried up to the neck, opening your eyes underwater and thinking you may never see again for the pain, people watching, weeing in the sea, skimming stones, losing your flip flop to a sudden wave, filling buckets with jellyfish and chasing girls with them, snorkelling, trying to pull limpets off rocks, collecting sea glass, super happy dogs barking at rocks, licking dry salty arms to make the smell come back…
Dirty, (semi-)naked and happy!